Principles for dealing with anger

Is the Bible an ancient book that has nothing to say about real life in 2021? No, the Bible is a book of real people with real problems. And their concerns were not wholly different than the ones we face. Sure, the issues aren't very different, although the world they grew up in certainly was. Nonetheless, the principles in the Bible are timeless.

Esau forfeited his birthright. Jacob stole Esau's blessing that Isaac sought to use to circumvent the birthright issue, against God's stated will that the older would serve the younger. Discord followed, but what else could be expected given all that had occurred during those decades. Who of us has not been there? Maybe we haven't had a birthright or a blessing stolen, but we have experienced a conflict that led to long-term discord. God has the answers if we have eyes to see and ears to hear. When we look at Genesis 27:41-28:9, it is full of emotions and emotional reactions. Esau hated Jacob so much because of the plot cooked up by Jacob and Rebekah that he consoled himself with the thought of killing Jacob as soon as Isaac would pass away. Rebekah overheard Esau talking about this and feared for her son's life. She despaired that she could lose Jacob to his brother's hand after Rebekah felt she had already lost Esau. Fearing the consequences of their plan, Rebekah tells Jacob to flee until Esau forgets how angry he is. Then Rebekah tells Isaac she sent him away because she is so distressed over Heth's daughters that life would be worth nothing to her if Isaac married one of them. This is more deceptive because she is misrepresenting the real reason for what she said. At the end of this section, we have poor Esau, who has already taken two Canaanite wives. So he takes a wife from one of Ishmael's descendants to try to please his father. The intermarriage between the families of Ishmael and Esau form most of the Islamic world today.

In Genesis 27:44-45, God gives us insight into Esau's emotional upheaval, as he uses the words "fury" and "anger." We have seen other instances of fury and anger in the book of Genesis. In Genesis 4:4-8, we see that God looked favorably upon Abel's offering that he gave by faith, but he did not look favorably upon Cain's offering. As a result, Cain became exceedingly angry, indignant, annoyed, hostile, and depressed. God tried to reason with Cain in his anger and warned him of the consequences of his attitude, but Cain did not heed the warning. Instead, he later encouraged his brother to come out with him to the field. While they were out there, Cain rose up against his brother Abel and killed him. Cain's anger was not justified because, as Arthur W. Pink wrote in his book Gleanings in Genesis, in bringing the offering he did, Cain denied that he was a sinful creature under the divine sentence condemnation. Cain insisted on approaching God on the ground of personal worthiness. Instead of accepting God’s way, he offered God the fruits of the land, which God had cursed. He presented the product of his own toil, the work of his own hands, and God refused to receive it. God gave Cain the prescription for handling his anger in Genesis 4:7. God warned Cain that sin was crouching at his door, desiring to overpower him, but Cain needed to master it. That is the same prescription for us today. By the power of the Holy Spirit through faith, we can master sin and anger and not let it control us as Cain did to his own ruin and his brother's murder.

In Genesis 18:30-32, God plans to destroy Sodom, Gomorrah, and the surrounding cities because their sin has reached its full measure. God shares his plans with his friend Abraham, who proceeds to negotiate on behalf of Sodom. He asks that God would not be angry with him for being so bold as to intercede on behalf of a place of wickedness. In that case, Abraham feared the LORD and was hopeful that God would not be angry with him for interfering with God's divine plan for the cities. It is worth noting that the text does not say God was mad at him for asking the questions. Abraham just asked that God would not be angry. He gave Abraham no indication that he actually was. Nonetheless, had the LORD been angry, and there are plenty of instances where he does get angry, it would have been justified.

In our text for this post, I feel that Esau has a legitimate reason to be angry. God already made it clear who the birthright and all the blessings that go along with it were to belong to, Jacob. So Isaac's use of the blessing to try to circumvent all the benefits that went to Jacob's birthright meant that Esau had reason to be angry with his parents for using their children as pawns because they each had a favorite. Furthermore, he had reason to be angry with his brother for going along with the deceptive plan, just as Jacob had schemed Esau decades earlier. He had reason to be upset with his mother for treating Jacob as her favorite and concocting the plan to gain Isaac's blessing by underhanded means. So yes, there was plenty of reason to be upset. But none of that warrants Esau's proposed solution, to murder his brother.

In Genesis 30:1-2, Rachel envied her sister Leah because Rachel had conceived no children for Jacob. So she goes to Jacob and says if he doesn't give her children, she will die. Jacob became furious with Rachel and said, "Am I in God's place? Who has denied you, children?" There might be some disagreement about this one, but I feel like Jacob's anger is justified. It's not like he wasn't doing his part. They were trying to conceive. It was the LORD who was giving Leah the children because she was not as loved as Rachel. And the LORD eventually blessed Rachel with children, but the delay was no fault of Jacob's. So I feel like he had every reason to be furious, especially if this was a repeated thing Rachel did, though scripture does not indicate that one way or the other. Proverbs 21:9 says it is better to live in the corner of the housetop on the flat, oriental roof, exposed to all kinds of weather than in a house shared with a nagging, quarrelsome, contentious, faultfinding woman. Proverbs 25:24 repeats that just in case once was not enough.

Considering all Genesis has to say about what happens when we don't respond appropriately in difficult situations, we now look at Hebrews 12:14-17. That passage commands us to work at living in peace with everyone and work at living a holy life because those who are not holy will not see the Lord. God tells us to look after each other so that none of us fails to receive his grace. He warns us to watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble us, thereby corrupting many. Then God brings it back to the events we are studying in this post when he tells us to make sure that no one is immoral or godless like Esau, who traded his birthright as the firstborn son for a single meal. Afterward, when Esau wanted his father's blessing, he was rejected. It was too late for repentance, even though he begged with bitter tears. When we don't respond appropriately in difficult situations, we can irrevocably miss out on blessings or opportunities that will not come around again. So these are dire warnings we all need to heed and take seriously for our own good.

The final passage we will look at in this post is Ephesians 4:26-32, paying particular attention to what the Bible says about anger. It starts by quoting Psalm 4:4 about not letting anger control us, but when we get angry, we do so without sin. The Apostle Paul writes, don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need. Don’t use evil language. Let everything you say be good and helpful so that your words will encourage those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

PRINCIPLES FOR DEALING WITH ANGER

1. Anger is sometimes justified, sometimes not.
2. Anger can cause sin to crouch at the doors of our hearts, desiring to overpower us, but we must master it by faith.
3. Righteous anger should cause us to pursue justice, not vengeance.
4. Continually strive for peace with everyone.
5. Resolve issues causing anger as quickly as possible, so a poisonous root of bitterness does not ruin our relationship with God and others.